There is panic on the streets of Henley-on-Thames. The red kites are revolting. According to a BBC source, a man, sat in his garden eating a croissant, was stared at maliciously by a red kite from a nearby tree. His neighbour is now too scared to go into her garden. One of the beasts hovered, whilst she dined outside on a couscous and smoked salmon salad. Her mid-morning Pimms spilled in the mayhem. Get a grip. In Sunderland, seagulls walk with semi-automatic rifles, steal people’s credit cards at knifepoint, to buy three-piece suits from Burtons. That is real rebellion, and not a reporter to be found.
This immediately brought to mind a piece I just wrote about a “revolt” — and it is nowhere near as witty as this. Wonderful satire on display here — though I did wonder whether some of it is true (e.g., the credit card part). Definitely not all fact, since seagulls do not walk with semi-automatic rifles 🙂
The first part about Henley on Thames, Grace, is true, or that was how it was reported on the news. I used a bit of artistic licence about the Seagulls in Sunderland. I am glad you enjoyed the writing. I will have a look for your piece on revolt.
That neighbour, she smoked salmon salad? 😮
That’s what was reported in the news. They are strange in that part of town. 😂
Sounds like a conspiracy…we know them well over here. Great imagery, Davy D. ~Alicia
I think they move amongst us both side of the Atlantic, Alicia. Glad you enjoyed the piece.
This immediately brought to mind a piece I just wrote about a “revolt” — and it is nowhere near as witty as this. Wonderful satire on display here — though I did wonder whether some of it is true (e.g., the credit card part). Definitely not all fact, since seagulls do not walk with semi-automatic rifles 🙂
The first part about Henley on Thames, Grace, is true, or that was how it was reported on the news. I used a bit of artistic licence about the Seagulls in Sunderland. I am glad you enjoyed the writing. I will have a look for your piece on revolt.
It seems walking on eggshells may be the new mode of transport. Love the imagery and humor, Davy. 🙂
Thanks, Terveen and you are right about the eggshell walking. I might give it a try sometime.😂